Guy Abandons - Been?... Oh! - collection.Story of - HOLIDAY, part 1:Some holiday!?! I started off going to a little village in Wales with a place name with twice as many letter'sin than seemed quite necessary: I thought I would do a little riding.I had not got a bicycle with me so I thought I would hire one: there was only one in the village which was œ5 per hour: that seemed steeper than the hills there but she was worth it. I went from there to a camp which seemed promising; it proved to be a nudist camp. I didn't quite understand this place; some of the activities seemed a little eccentric: the ladies aerobics class took place in the vegetable patch; I have never seen that exercise before; let alone among the cucumbers. The guys were playing silly games like leap-frog:the trouble was they never seemed to leap high enough. When we were on the beach; most of us had lilo's: one guy had to be different; HE had brought along an inflatable "DOLLY". I believe these things come (pardon the pun) in various colours, shapes and sizes according to taste, orientation or modesty: I have never understood the appeal of foreplay with a foot pump; perhaps he didn't as by the time he had worked himself up; the "DOLLY" had been blown up rather firm. However; he was ready and leaped on with lustyglee and pricked it rather too hard and got the biggest bang of his life. Another guy thought this looked fun so took his inflatable "DOLLY" TO PLAY WITH IN THE SEA: HE GOT VERY CARRIED AWAY AS HE MANAGED TO KNOCK THE PLUG OUT AND WITH A RESOUNDING TRUMP; came FIRST IN THE jet SKI RACE. On the way home; I picked up a hitch hiker who looked as cute as the village bicycle I met earlier: we got caught in a traffic jam which was stationery for ages so I suggested a little "activity". She was coy and said that people would see us in the car so I said how about underneath: she agreed so we slipped out of our respective doors and met under the centre of the car. We were engrossed in our activity when the familiar "'ello, 'ello; what are you doing?" was heard: I saw out of the corner of my eye the shiny boots and blue trouser cuffs of a policeman: I said; "fixing the exhaust pipe"; "I don't believe you" he said and I asked why not? "firstly; your feet are pointing down, secondly; the crowd watching you are blocking the road, thirdly; someone has nicked your car." After a holiday like that; I think I will do something tame like stamp collecting at the local drop forgers this year. (c)Guy Abandon 1996. |
(Sunday, 25 October, 2026.)
