A:

A two-hour daily allowance and a 28.8 Modem: Time is no problem!

B:

Black hole: small heavy thing inside event horizon

C:

Careful! My laser printer is set to stun.

D:

Delenn: We must not keep him waiting!

E:

Everyone complains of hir memory. No-one complains of hir judgment

And finally...

Quick, @TOFIRST@, send your wife over to train my girlfriend!

(Tuesday, 05 May, 2026.)